My Father, Peter Lightowler - A Eulogy of Sorts by Sean Lightowler 12th February 2009 I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another thing. Winston Churchill ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peter, William, Derek Trotter, Norman Stanley Fletcher, Mrs Doubtfire, Yorkie Lightowler, or Dad for short, was an unusual man to say the least. Extraordinary perhaps, unconventional; just ask anyone at the Inland Revenue. A man who did nothing by halves, nearly always pints! A man who thought that the TV series ‘Only Fools and Horses’ was actually a documentary of his life. A man of so many stories, and never one to let all the facts get in the way of a good one. A ‘Mr Ben’- like character; the sailor and submariner, the drummer and rocker, the chauffeur, the security guard, the passport officer, the ice cream man, the welfare officer or just the bloke you met down the pub or at the rugby. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This unplanned trip for me back to England from Australia has allowed me some time to spend time with my sister, Rebecca and brother-in-law, Jason and my two nieces, Grace and Ava. On the two nights I stayed with them I was woken up on both by Ava (nine months old) around two or three in the morning. She wakes up and just starts laughing and giggling. I knew someone else who used to that. Laughing and giggling around two or three in the morning, probably having just got in from the pub and probably with one or two of you here today. It was extremely difficult working out what stories to tell with so much material available. I had to narrow it down to just a few. The times when: - in the Navy when on operations in Borneo he opened fire on the Malaysia Navy. They were on our side! - as an ice cream man the brakes on its ice cream bike failed and ‘stop me and buy one’ just became ‘stop me…, please!’ - on holiday in Egypt when Mum and Dad's hot air balloon failed to land as intended. It continued right over the Nile and a significant distance beyond. Must have had too much hot air! - as a Welfare Officer when a distressed and hard up soldier came to him for help. Dad gave him some money to tide him over, only to find that five minutes later when the Military Police turned up that the soldier was AWOL and Dad had just funded him on the run for another month! - at home playing games of Trivial Pursuit where he always cheated. Or when he used to send me down to Stokes Bay at night with a rucksack to collect pebbles off the beach to use as foundations for our new driveway. I’m sure I only ever join the Army for an easier life! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Our family shared a love of comedy and we all loved watching ‘the Two Ronnies’. You may recall the story of ‘the Worm that Turned’, a futuristic world where England is ruled by women. Funny then that Dad ultimately chose a career in the Women's Royal Voluntary Service (WRVS) especially when he would never, ever listen to my mum or my sister. He even changed the voice on his Sat-Nav from a woman's to a man's!!! As I said, so many stories; Dad was someone who really did fit 62 years of life into his 62 years. I have a request for you all from Dad (and from me) would be: - This year, do one thing you have never done before, preferably legal. - By the end of the day, give someone a hug and tell them that you love them. Finally; I spoke to Elton John the other day. Unfortunately he has refused to release a remake of his most famous song. He felt that ‘Matelot with the Wind’ just wouldn't do either of them any justice. I therefore leave you with a poem, with apologies to John Masefield: I must go down to the sea again, the lonely sea and the sky, I left my socks and nicks there, I must go see if they’re dry. Peter William Lightowler